Yesterday this happened:
Yep. I spilled 32 ounces of Mother’s Market Aloha Goddess juice blend in the passenger side floor of my car. That’s a whole lot of apple, pineapple, celery, cucumber, spinach, parsley and kale put to rest. And you know what happened next….
I laughed. In my head my initial reaction was probably something like, “Oh man.” That was mostly because I was really looking forward to drinking it.
Life is just like that sometimes. It was a day filled with change. I could have seen it as a bad day or a bunch of misfortunes (because that was like one of five “changes” that day), however, I chose not to. The moment that I invest in calling it a bad day or having a nasty thought about the day…… Guess what? It will turn out to be just that.
I choose to put my energy in the positive. Sure, I had to go to the gas station to get some paper towels and yes they only had three left (not three rolls; three, very -tiny- little- small paper towels), but I also was able to fill my tank full of gas. In moments that feel overwhelming, put gratitude towards what you do have. I am thankful for my job, money, and the ability to use resources. Being thankful helps reverse the negative thoughts.
When I got back to work, my car smelled of fresh squeezed juice and I looked at a co-worker and just laughed. He helped me clean the small green lake out of my car and I thanked him. And that was that. I walked into my work room and led group therapy. I didn’t rush into the room frazzled or announce my recent change order. I just did my job.
What we fail to understand is how our attitude leaks. Just like that juice in my car if I had not cleaned it up quickly and properly, it would ferment. Your attitude is the same. Lock it up quickly and properly. Don’t let it ferment. It smells bad and is not a good look. Don’t just stuff it either. Talk to the appropriate people and move on.
If I had a bad attitude, I would infect a room full of people with it. However, no one in that room could have guessed what had just happened to me. You release the conversation to the people you need to (i.e my co-workers) then you strap on your big girl (or big boy) pants and you take care of business.
I now understand the saying, “no use crying over spilt milk.” But we missed the point. Mom or Dad didn’t yell at the kid about the milk they spilled. They reassured him that it was okay, and they helped clean it up. Then the kid stopped crying and was like “oh, oh yeah.” They were mirroring how to embrace change, and go with the flow. Adults don’t cry over spilt milk; they either shut down and don’t clean it up, yell about the milk, or throw the milk on others. Still never cleaning it up. Too often adults get frustrated and upset about things in life that they can not control. Then they take that frustration out on others. Adults tend to harbor resentment over change. They don’t value lessons unless they are clean and to the point. Life’s best lessons are often messy.
That 32 ounces of juice on my car floor was a lesson. Embrace change. If you don’t embrace it, it will happen anyways. Then when it happens you will act frustrated, upset, or surprised. Acceptance of change is key to having lasting balance in your life. It promotes a good attitude. You attitude leaks in everything you do and on to everyone you encounter.
Most things in life are not in our control. Our attitude is in our control. Choose to have a good attitude. No use crying over spilt aloha goddess.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.