So yesterday I gave you a homework assignment. It was to write down people in your life who either “fill your cup” or “empty your cup.” The cup represents your life.
Your cup never needs to be empty, but it also never needs to be overflowing. You give out some of yourself to fill the other people’s cups in your life. It is through these exchanges of truly mutual friendship that we are able to find our best self. A scenario could be that your best friend hit a tough time, so he or she might need to chat on the phone or confide in you. In essence of the meaning, in this moment that friend may be emptying your cup.
The cup needs to have a balance in it. Your life will never be completely devoid of people who “empty your cup.” People that empty your cup might be people who you work with, but you have to interact with them. Maybe a guy at work is just a total downer and he “empties your cup.” If you have to work with him day in and day out, find a way to have your cup filled when you get home. You have to decide practically with jobs, school, work, or general life responsibilities that those might require you to have people emptying your cup. So in turn dating a person who you put on the “empty your cup side” might not be practical.
If you are constant to surround yourself with more people who empty your cup then fill it, you may be trying to fix the people around you. The only one who can fix them is themselves. So take this time and consideration to start making your own life better by getting more people in your life that fill your cup. Interact with these people on a regular basis. If you get fulfillment out of helping others, make a weekly hobby of helping out somewhere or volunteering for a cause you love. Make a new list and incorporate things you do and places you go into that new list. A draining place might be work, but a place to fill your cup might be the gym. Household chores might be draining, but joining a social club might fill your cup. There will be balance as you allow yourself to find it. Being in constant awareness of this exercise will help you keep your energy and focus on things and people who give and take with a balance.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals... Call us what you will.... We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.