The American housing market has been in a lull for some time now. At least that is what I read; I am not an expert on housing, real estate or anything of that nature. A couple of years ago, I overheard someone say, “It is a buyers’ market.” Some people conceive the market is going back up progressively; it’s all in discussion followed by action.
So what does this have to do with your marriage? Well, the marriage market is similar to the housing market. There are reports that the divorce rate is increasing and reports that it is decreasing. However the rate is null and void to the way we need to be active participants in our marriages.
Some people speculate that divorce is more prevalent when:
- It’s a 2nd or 3rd Marriage
- You and your spouse argue consistently about finances
- You co-habitat before entering into the marriage
- You live in a red state (Republican)
- Your parents are divorced
- And my personal favorite:If you live in Wayne County, Indiana, and are over 15 years old, there’s a 19.2 percent chance that you’ve been divorced.
Divorce is becoming an open forum in which many people willfully or unwillfully take part. Reasons for divorce are said to be:
- Lack of commitment
- Lack of positive interaction
- Lack of communication
- Lack of sex
- Lack of real expectations
So when our home does not have enough equity in it to sell, we stay with it. We know that the investment we made in the beginning and it has to yield the proper return for us. Why can’t we do this in marriages? Whether the housing market is up or down, if you are a home owner, you are a home owner. The housing market is boosted by the economy, which is a collective citizen task. Your marriage is boosted by what takes place in the marriage, which is a collective couple task.
Eventually the marriage will return to the value it once was, we have to try to put in work. Putting in the due diligence to make your marriage work will predict the end result. We have to be patient and trust that the process marriage takes will yield happiness later, even during difficult times.
*Sometimes getting divorced is the healthiest decision for all parties involved. I am not soliciting advice for your specific situation; I am just advising you to take time in making such a decision and seek counsel from professionals.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.