I continuously read articles and books about relationships. Love relationships, specifically, seem to have something in common across local articles, such as the OC Register and popular relationship books like The Seven Principals for Making a Marriage Work by the Gottmans; they discuss how love helps us to live longer and healthier lives. The notion is that: the immune system is affected by stress or arguing. Couples that have less conflict tend to get sick less.
This concept makes sense when we discover that we are bound not only biologically to our immune systems but also psychologically and socially.
What this doesn’t mean is that you can blame the cold you had last week on your partner! What it does mean is that stability in a relationship can be the beginning of good psyche and overall better health. Once you get sick, your immune system is alerted and it tries to fight back. When stress levels are high, our whole being (physically and mentally) has less fight left, including our immune system. In regards to your relationship, prevention is the key. Talking about issues and communicating can prevent arguments as well as sickness.
We were designed to give into certain biological responses. Being in relationship with other people is natural. Cultivating those relationships is not as natural, and it takes work from both parties. Remember these tips to increase the love you put out and the health benefit that it will put back into you:
1. Breath. Make sure you take deep breaths throughout the day or breath regularly to increase the overall calm that your body feels. Sometimes we are not conscious to steady and regular breathing. Controlled breathing can decrease anxiety.
2. Be aware of responses. Our initial responses are often not the best ones. When someone irritates us we are quick to anger. Be aware of eliciting calm and peaceful responses. *This will take some work. Remember that the only thing you can control is your reaction.
3. Love, Love, Love. The articles I discussed before addressed being a caring and loving person as an important part of being healthy. You can increase love feelings by evoking caring in your overall life.
Try being more in tune to your “love” self.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.