It can be frustrating to be a single in today’s world. You stand in line to be seated at a restaurant and hear the hostess say, “only one?” Stub Hub sells tickets in 2’s and 4’s. All of your friends have a Facebook status that says “in a relationship.” You don’t have a plus one at any of your friends’ weddings. Single can feel lonely in a world of couples.
So why are you single? Do you ask yourself why you have yet to meet Mr or Mrs right? What are you doing or not doing that keeps you single?
1. The Places You Go. Do you frequent bars in hopes that you will meet the person of your dreams? Maybe some of your friends have met their significant others at bars, but if you have been rocking the bar scene for quite some time without much luck, it is time to change it up. Change up the places you go so you can meet new people.
2. The Things You Do. You possibly work and/or go to school. Try something new. If you are a guy, volunteer in a humanitarian effort. This is a good place to build character and to meet people who also exhibit good character. If you are a girl, try business networking events. This is a good place to meet career oriented men that exhibit work ethic and social skills.
3. You Are Too Focused. You have not embraced being single. I am not talking about in an irresponsible college undergraduate way, but in a personal acceptance way. You need to focus on a job, school, or something other than securing a significant other. It will find you, you will not find it.
4. You Think In Generalities. You give up because you think that “all men are bad” or “all women are emotional.” Talking or thinking in generalities will make good people walk away. No one wants to listen to someone who already has an idea of them, without getting to know them.
5. You Expect Too Much. Think about the expectations that you have for a significant other. Most of us have too high of expectations and people can just not live up to them. Limit your expectations, not for you, but so other people can come into your life without having to live up to your too high standards.
Mr or Mrs Right is out there somewhere. It may take longer than you like for you to meet that person, but timing is everything. Be the best you, so you can meet the best someone else.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.