When you drive your car, it is important that you pay attention to signs and traffic signals. If you are paying attention to the car in front of you, you are bound to make a wrong move if they do.
So what does this have to do with your relationship? If you pay attention to the correct relationship signs and signals; the ones that are given to you by people of proper guidance, your relationship will be driven in a better direction.
I often hear random conversations of friends giving advice to other friends about what to do in a certain relationship situation. The problem with some of this advice is that although it comes with good intention, it is not necessarily the proper prescription. I am not suggesting that you don’t let your friends give you advice or help. However, you should be more discerning in who you listen to when it comes to matters of your heart or situations in your relationship.
Furthermore, paying attention to other relationships for what is typical, might not be what is typical for your relationship. One couple may fight and fight and this may suggest to you that it is healthy to argue in a relationship. However, the proper “signal” for your relationship will be different. (When it comes to arguing, that’s a traffic sign relationships can do without).
You will go through your relationship and build a sort of “city“. Your own city, where you will place your own traffic signals. Take note and learn from other relationships, but know that you are the best developer of your own traffic signs; the two individuals in the relationship need to work together to build them.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals... Call us what you will.... We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.