Does your partner seem less invested in the relationship these days? Do you really have him or her where you want them? I am only talking about having your girlfriend or boyfriend appreciate and tend to the relationship in ways that are normal and will help the relationship be successful. This is not advocating playing games that are harmful to the relationship; just the kind that will help your partner check back in to the relationship if you feel they are not as “into” it as they had been before.
Inappropriate Games to Play Include
- Flirting with people in front of them or behind their back
- Going on dates with other people
- Meeting new potential partners while you are still in the relationship
- Lying or doing anything decietful
Trying to get your partner to be more attentive, must be subtle.
I also have learned that having an open conversation with them about how they are not being attentive will not always work. We talk about communication being the key to a good relationship, and it still is. However, today it is easier to get anything you want than in the history of our cultures (fast food, etc). That means that people want to find faster and easier ways to do everything. They even want to do that in relationships. They want to do the least amount of work.
So an example is a girl that doesn’t get flowers or notes anymore. Or a man that doesn’t get random texts or sexy lingerie. How do you get those things back?
Appropriate Games to Play Include
- Being busy. You have work or maybe school; family and friends that you need to be with. You are not being decietful, but you are making this person appreciate you by missing you.
- Not “thinking” of them all the time. If you constantly bring dinner over to your significant others house- stop doing it! Get in the habit of worrying about yourself first and it should help them take the lead with taking care of you.
- Less is more. Just pay less attention to the relationship and invest your time in other things. Volunteer at the local children’s hospital. Do something that keeps your heart active. It is not bad to have someone be on their toes. This way you can make sure some of the later steps in the relationship take place (such as getting engaged).
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.