This is a rule that I have talked about with friends before. This is a quick rule and it weeds out the shady from the non-shady people. Here is the rule:
If someone you are talking to does not tell you within the first 5-10 minutes that they have a girlfriend or boyfriend (if they in fact have one) then they are not a good person. We don’t live in a world where we are confused when we get hit on, and we are not oblivious to advances from the opposite sex.
I am not suggesting that you belt out that you are with someone in the first sentence, but I am suggesting that you be aware when you don’t claim your partner. Also, that you be aware when others are not claiming theirs.
Here is my best, personal example. I once met a guy whom I was definitely hitting on and he got my number. Days later he even managed to take me on a date.
About two weeks into it as he is arguing with this chic (his girlfriend) outside the restaurant we are at.
(Side Note: To make matters worse, I dated the guy for over a year after that. You know why, because I was hurting, emotional, and willing to take anyone down with me. I am positive in that year he cheated on me. You know why, because he was shady.) I should have seen it in the first meeting when he didn’t talk about his significant other in the first 5-10 minutes. Never-ever be with someone whom you later find out had a significant other. Even if they are willing to break up with them for you; they will be willing to break up with you down the road for someone else
The 5-10 minute rule can save you from people that don’t deserve you. Be conscious of this in your own conversations. When you get hit on, if you find yourself not claiming your partner, then you probably should not be with them.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.