In some way or another we have all said it. We have broken it off with someone and followed up with: but, we can still be friends. We use this as a way to lighten the mood after the punch. Whether this is sincere or not, it is more of just a cop-out. Read over the following paragraphs to get a better perspective of being the breaker or the breakee.
For the Breaker: Are the two of you really going to be kicking it and going on double dates? Probably not. The reality of the situation is that unless you were great friends before and the break-up is mutual, someone or both people are going to be hurt. Society has deemed it an appropriate follow-up statement after a break-up. I would advise unless you mean it, don’t use it.
For the Breakee: If you still want to be in the relationship, being friends is not a good idea. It may come later, but now is not a good time. No matter how ‘tough’ you may try to be and accept that you can handle it, it won’t be emotionally healthy for you. Absence can make you gain a perspective that you couldn’t if you are hanging out with that person and holding onto old emotions.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals... Call us what you will.... We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.