When we begin engaging in conversation with someone we are interested in, it is difficult to tell if they have the same kind of thoughts about what the encounter will end up as. How can we tell if someone wants to begin a relationship or if they are the “hit it and quit it” type?
A fling is interested in a short term encounter or hooking up. It will look very different than someone who is interested in the real thing. However, someone’s intentions in the beginning may look like they are in it to stay, but after they get whatever they wanted out of it or just have a fun time, it will be over. You will realize for them it was just a fling.
The real thing:
- Even after months of courting, they are still willing to go out of their way for you
- They make time to see you, no matter how busy their schedule is
- They take interest in your job, hobbies, or interests
- They introduce you to their family and friends and will invite you to multiple events
- They introduce you as their girlfriend or boyfriend
- You can have open discussions about important life topics, such as having kids
- There is compromise from them and you
- They hang in there for the good times and the bad
It will take months to understand what the other person is interested in. Even if you come right out and ask, that doesn’t mean that people can’t change their mind later. Actions speak much louder than words, so hang around and see if they are in it for the real thing.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.