In my article “When do You move in Together?” I address the issue of cohabitation in relationships; highlighting things to consider when thinking about moving in together. But what do the experts say about living together before marriage? In a recent article done by the New York Times the author highlights surveys and experience. A survey done by the National Marriage Project gave results that 2/3’s of 20 something year olds believe that living together before they are married is a good way to avoid divorce down the road.
Men and woman have different ideas associated with reasons why they live together. Women typically see it as a step towards marriage, while men tend to view it as a way to test the relationship or to postpone more commitment. Communication becomes key here; understand each other’s reasons for wanting to move in together. It is not that cohabitation definitely leads to divorce, but that people who move in together before marriage have less conventional ideas about marriage. People who cohabited tend to be less satisfied with their marriages. But why? I believe we just get ahead of ourselves. We tend to think that enjoying things quicker means that we will enjoy them more. Studies show that patience and taking time in the relationship yields better results with overall relationship happiness.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.