Do you ever wonder why you reminisce about your past relationships?
It is human nature to romanticize our past relationships; we typically do this more when life’s stresses get us down. Take these three steps towards leaving the past:
1. Conscious of Triggers
Be conscious of how different situations are going to affect you. If you can determine days, times, or situations that are going to lead into you wishfully dreaming about the past, then you can keep yourself in check. If you tend to think more about the past when hanging with other couples, maybe you need a little time away from other couples. If places remind you of your old boo, maybe it is time to find new places.
2. Spring Cleaning
“You can not make room in the fridge for healthy new items if the moldy old ones are still in the way.” Jane Page, Ph.D. Take your time to clean out the souvenirs and memories of the past. Don’t hold onto anything that reminds you of your past relationship, untag old Facebook photos and throw away that old t-shirt of his you still wear.
3. Move Into The Future
The problem with the past is, just that. Looking in the past is dull and lonely, it causes you to look back. In the mean time you will be running into people who are headed towards their future. Whatever is it you have fantasized about, it is over. We can’t go into the future until we have forgiven and let go of the past.
Embrace the future, it holds much more wonder and excitement. You have the opportunity to fall in love with someone you have never met, or met in passing. It’s your new beginning.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.