After time the relationship gets to a point where one person or both people start to ask about the other’s pasts, where curiosity about who they are texting is high, and where the latest Facebook status from the opposite sex becomes the topic of a fight. Different personalities and different people act differently to this. You might be someone not jaded by whatever your significant other does, but the majority of people tend to go the other way. There is worry that sets in with possible beliefs of cheating or meeting someone else.
I advise being open and honest with one another. Neither party should have anything to hide. It is a struggle of power. Healthy relationships are ones where it is a partnership and not a battle. You won’t feel the need to go through someone’s phone or Facebook if you trust them, and they won’t feel the need to have other opposite sex blowing up their fb-wall or phone because they respect you. Trust comes with mutual respect.
If you come with trust issues from a past relationship, that is something you need to work through before being in a relationship. Maybe a new partner can work through those issues with you, but there has to be a mutual understanding to avoid arguing; you can’t expect a person to help you with your issues without knowing the role they are playing.
If you are with someone who makes you spend more time worrying than loving, you should walk away. Respect, communication, and trust are essential, not only for our relationships, but for our overall well-being.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.