I have discussed the issue of a man’s need to pull away when he feels like you are getting close, but what about how women act?
First, remember that if a man pulls away, then step two will be a time when a man wants to get close again. After the pull away period, the intimacy will take time to get back to the intensity that it was in before. Just as a woman gave a man time to pull away, the man needs to give the woman time to get close again. Men pull away to claim independence and women are like waves. (John Gray, Ph.D. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus)
That is the secret, Women are like waves.
Women have different emotional needs than men. We were made to care for our children and have a tendency to be more empathetic then men.
Paul did a great job making dinner for his wife and cleaning the house. He thought she would be so excited. But when Mary got home from a rough day at work, she was tired and irritable. There is no telling when a woman will be irritated, happy, sad, angry, or calm. We just need someone to listen and be there. This is not a time for a you to fix our problems.
It is hard enough to feel like a wave and men we know battling them is difficult. Sometimes we are high tide and sometime we are low. The winds and currents are always different. If you want a long-term relationship with a woman, learn how to surf the waves. Maneuver around our moods, and know that for centuries we have battled with our emotions too.
Relationships see more good times when the sexes understand one another better.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.