Couples often struggle because of miscommunication between one another. There are some very common needs of men and women for proper communication to take place in a relationship. Making these simple changes in the way that you communicate with a woman can make a big difference.
Women like to talk to get out their feelings. They often ramble to understand what they want to say, because they think it out during the process of talking. They talk to feel better.
They need a man to communicate by doing the following:
- Acknowledge- Say hum, I see, yes…etc
- Understand- Yes, honey, I know work is stressful…
- Show Compassion- Hold them, kiss them, validate their need to talk with touch
- Give Reassurance not Solutions- Woman want to know you are listening, but they don’t want you to offer solutions. Their process of talking is part of them discovering solutions on their own. Learn to simply listen.
When a woman says, “You never listen!” or “You don’t love me”, the exaggeration is just the way we talk. “I Love that purse.” “I am fat.” We don’t say, ” Today I feel like I have a little bit of additional fat on my legs.”
We take care of others before ourselves. This can lead to a struggle for good communication in relationships. Try not to take it personally when she uses extreme phrases, like never or always, both words really mean : sometimes.
Helping her feel listened to makes the emotions less intense and last less long. I know it seems like women are “crazy and emotional” creatures, but learn to love us for who we are, not what you wish we were. Often we will return the gesture.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.