Guilty? I am not talking about the ones who deserve your friendship, I am talking about the ones who don’t. If you’re not sure, ask a friend. Chances are a close friend will know what went on in the relationship and if the ex is worthy of your friendship.
Hooking up with an ex after they leave the relationship is only doing damage to your self-esteme and your self-respect. People take you seriously when you express that an 11 p.m. booty call is: ALWAYS unacceptable. They need to know getting in your pants will take commitment not drinks and a cheesy smile. Tell the person who keeps putting you on the back burner while you answer their ever call: next time they need something they should call the bank, cause you are cashed out!
Don’t catch yourself with a place in your life and your heart for someone who has no respect for themselves and shows that in the lack of respect they have for you.
Time to cash out if your ex or your fling does any of the following:
- considers date nights to be 11 pm, clothes optional
- finds other hook-ups to be with when you are not around
- only wants to hang out when it is convenient for them
- is flaky
- is shitty
- is in any way disrespecting the 100 percent you give
Setting limits can prevent you from talking to a nasty ex when you feel lonely or even if you still have feelings. A very healthy life decision takes place when you set boundaries.
Setting limits and boundaries will keep you from becoming overwhelmed and blaming other people. Your partner will stay motivated to give more when you set limits and will respect the boundaries that you’ve set.
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals... Call us what you will.... We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.