Honestly, not really.
However, that doesn’t mean that you should stop driving it. Time and time again I see people give up something they love or something in their life for a new relationship or person. Giving up something you love can make the other party feel like you are willing to do anything, which can be a total turn off to most of us. In the end, this leaves you:
Without the relationship + without whatever it was you left for the relationship = Alone
Here are some pointers to keep your new relationship on an even playing field:
- Keep your commitments. Don’t stop getting up to work out just because your partner sleeps in
- Work. Don’t take time off to go out of your way for a new partner. They will respect that you have obligations outside of them
- Friends. Keep spending time with your friends while incorporating your partner occasionally.
- Hobbies. Make sure that you keep yourself busy and don’t take on cleaning your significant others house or making sure they have take-out every day as your new hobby. People respect you when you prioritize your life, so in the beginning they are a small part of it
- Spirituality. Never give up your faith because someone doesn’t participate in it
- Encourage, never nag. If you feel like you are being a drag all the time, it is probably because you are. This is a two-way street and encouraging one another in habits and hobbies is essential for a healthy relationship
The Cynical Therapist came to be when two therapists became friends. SoulMates or Kindered Spirit Animals… Call us what you will…. We are two bad*** chics Licensed to teach you how to grow into your full potential and add some humor along the way.
Laurie Wilson and Elle Anzalone are both Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Huntington Beach, CA.